Friendships

Friendships can be very important relationship in one’s life. But unlike family, one get to pick friends, and unlike a spouse, breaking it off with a friend does not require a court of law. Friends come in different shapes and sizes, and not every friendship is close and meaningful. But a close friend does provide is a shared life history, having been through many thing together creates an intimacy that is not easily replaced. This is why it is very important to treasure the friends that one has.

Any relationship will have bumps in the road and even really bad times; which is what I am experiencing now, deception, suspicion, betrayal, back-stabbing and favoritism. But only by talking about what went wrong and why, can we arrive at a mutual repair that will afford the benefits of a long-term friend. Sometimes one really has no idea that there is a problem, and if I don’t clue you in, nothing will get better and then I will want out. It really may be worth making more of an attempt at honesty even if it means a confrontation of sorts. But I am just not ready for that.

It is very difficult to end this friendship. It took me 3-4 months to decide that I am embarking on this hard, painful, heartbreaking journey to “fade away” by dropping out of sight, not returning calls and not making plans; leaving clear hints that I am not going to be in the picture anymore. The sad part about such a breakup is that it leaves both parties feeling hurt and perplexed and with no ability to fix whatever that has gone wrong in the relationship. A friendship should bring out the best in oneself but the friendship that we once had truly has a negative effect on me. It has drained me and sucked up large quantities of emotional upheaval, this is the time to stop and blow the whistle. Self preservation comes first, be clear, be honest and be firm.

If you are suspecting me, don’t pretend like you still trust me. If you are back stabbing me, don’t act like you are protecting me from the rest. If you are lying to me, don’t look me in the eye and ask me to trust you. If you are unsure of the friendship, don’t pretend to be merry in front of me. Don’t tell me that you will always there for me, when you are never here. Don’t tell me that I mean everything to you, when I meant nothing at all. Don’t tell me that you like my company, when you had better options in mind. Don’t tell me that I can count on you, when you turn your back towards me. If you are my friend, my close friend, you would not do all these things to jeopardize the friendship that we had.

Lastly, I have to admit that knowing this friendship is falling apart has driven me insane, tears had rolled, and hearts had broke but I know this is a process I have to go through. Only then, will I be release of all the misery that I put myself through. I will miss you but the damages that you have done will last forever.

Jingle Bell...Jingle Bell

Children, we are all prepared and ready to go!

I have been preparing for the Christmas show this year for the past 4 months and finally, I am excited to say, we are ready!

The kids did very well in the final rehearsal, the costumes are fantastic, the stage decorations are in placed, and everything is done perfectly. I couldn’t wait to see the best performance that I have put up since I have started 7 years ago.

Rundown for Christmas eve:

3.00pm Final Practice
5.00pm Christmas Dinner
6.30pm Dress Up Time
8.00pm Praise and Worship
9.00pm Show Time
10.30pm Gift Exchange
11.00pm Brief Supper

Woohoo….Christmas is coming………

Clear-headed.

After a long break for me to do some serious soul searching, I finally come to my senses and made some very difficult decisions.

I realized that one does not need a lot of friends around to feel good. A couple of close friends will do just great and I am proud to say that I have found mine a decade ago.

You never fail to brighten up my gloomy days, never fail to hold me when I fall, constantly showing me with care and affection, I feel blessed to have you as a friend. Without the need to say much, you will be able to understand my feeling. Without the need to proof myself, you know what I am capable of. Without the need to explain myself, you never misunderstand me. Thank you for accepting who I really am, thank you for always being there for me. You have proof that the rest are redundant.

I do not need friends who put words in my mouth. I do not need friends who accuse me of things I didn’t do. I do not need friends who misunderstand me. I do not need friends who doubt my loyalty. Goodbye my so called “friends”.