Memories

It’s the FIFA Euro Cup again; it’s also the time I missed you more than ever.

Whether it’s the Euro Cup or World Cup, it never fails to remind me of the days we spent together. You will get all excited over the season while I couldn’t understand your enthusiasm. Nevertheless, I compromised.

You will wake up only in the late afternoon, reading up all the news updates on the players, the strategy and the statistics, while I have to gather all the tips from your friends to my classmates. Before the game, we will usually go to the supermarket to get beers; snacks then meet up with the rest of the gang and go to either one’s house to watch the game. We will not stop till it really over. There is never once where you leave while the game is on which means that we can only go home ion the early morning. You are certainly a soccer fanatic.

All these years that you have left, I still keep the habit of watching all the games and betting on them even though I have simply no idea who they are or how the game should be played. This is the only thing in this world left that makes me feel connected to you once again. The only thing that I believe I can still do for you thus I don’t give a damn about what others think of me. Certain people think that I am just a typical gambler who bet on every single game, some might just say that I am stupid, well, who cares, at least I don’t. All I wanted is to bring back the memories we shared and feel the warmth of your presence.

After each and every game, I felt lost and empty. You are no longer here, not even spiritually. Each time, I wanted to cried out loud and say if you really do love me, then don’t’ leave me. But I couldn’t bring myself to say such selfish words. I am contradicting myself, without direction…I feel so lousy.

“One day, you ask me which is more important? My life or yours? I answer mine and you walk away…not knowing that YOU are my life”